CHINESE DEMOCRACY.....

I FORGOT IT CAME OUT.

MAYBE BECAUSE IT'S ONLY FUCKING AVAILABLE AT BEST BUY NOW I HAVE TO GO GET IT.

STAY TUNED MOTHERFUCKERS.

Chuck Klosterman's review of Chinese Democracy.

Vampires vs. Werewolves.... Rhona Mitra....

Underworld 3:  Rise of the Lycans...

No Kate Beckinsale...  Rhona Mitra instead...  but she won't be playing the same character so it's not that bad.  Instead it's a prequel to the first two Underworlds based in medieeeeevaaaaaaaal tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimes.

(Cable Guy.... what an underrated, before it's time, misunderstood masterpiece of a hilarious film.... Matthew Broderick, Jim Carrey, Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Andy Dick, Judd Apatow's wife, with a classic cameo and directed by Ben Stiller.... KG of Tenacious D fame can also be seen at the end of the film picking up a book as well.... at the time was seen as too dark and in fact actually ruining Jim Carrey's career.  The movie is comedic gold.  Gold, Jerry, Gold!)

The first Underworld was pretty badass but, like was going to become more of a problem in the second, it tended to get bogged down in backstory and politics of the series when all I wanted was shooting, slashing vampire vs. werewolf action.  Well that and to see Kate Beckinsale's hot, slick, bare vampire cooch get slammed by some big beefy werewolf cock.

That being said the first Underworld was good... the second was decent enough.... here's the preview for the third......

I do think Rhona Mitra is better suited than Beckinsale to play a kickass lycan (werewolf) killing vampire, due to her glorious turn in Doomsday... but those bonus points are negated by the fact that the preview is saturated in a Romeo & Juliet nature.....  then again there are alot of familiar faces from the first movie though which is a nice touch.

What it comes down to is it's going to be a movie with a hot chick protagonist in a medieval war between vampires and werewolves..... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm getting aroused just thinking about it.

Braylon Edwards....

....is playing so fucking bad and obviously quit that the only reason I can think that they keep putting him out there is in order to somehow embarrass him into playing better.

The Browns are a fucking joke of a franchise.

Lesnar v. Couture video....

These videos tend to get taken down pretty quick but if you wanted to see it and it's still working check it out.....

I changed my mind on... (sports)

-The Browns switching to the 4-3

-Trading Varejao

-Trading Sasha

...all are no-gos now as far as I'm concerned

Also the lack of touches and playing time that Jerome Harrison gets is a fireable offense in itself.

Until then, drink your Myoplex and eat your Subway!

Random, Tropic Thunder....

Tropic Thunder is a movie starring Jack Black as well as Ben Stiller.

Tropic Thunder is not a very good movie.  (Yes there is a correlation.)

The only reason to see TT is if you didn't know Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey (spelling? but in reality who gives a fuck...) had bigger than just cameo roles... then it would be semi-amusing.  But now you know, so it won't.  Don't worry I just saved you 90 minutes or however long.

As far as the opening statements, I do consider myself a fan of both Ben Stiller and Jack Black and think they are hilarious.... BUT you can't deny the fact that their movies generally suck and never live up to their potential.  Very disappointing.

the only way Couture beats Lesnar.... (I have no idea why I found this so funny)

LESNAR V. COUTURE... SAT. NIGHT....

What's interesting about this fight is that it seems you can find experts on both extremes and everywhere in between... as far as the extremes either Couture is going to toy with Lesnar in the ring OR they legitimately think that Couture's life could be in danger....  Nobody really knows.

Randy Couture comes originally from a collegiate and olympic level wrestling background prior to MMA.  He is also 45, hasn't fought in a year and a half and has a record of 16-8.  I find him to be generally overrated, as he seemed to receive title shots in the past mainly due to his popularity with the fans.  One of the reasons he is so popular though is because he wins the fights that everyone counts him out of.

Brock Lesnar has an extremely prolific NCAA wrestling pedigree and dominated Heavyweight contender and veteran Heath Herring in his last fight.  He will be CUTTING WEIGHT TO MAKE HEAVYWEIGHT and will be looking at around a 50 lb. weight advantage come fight night.  (In MMA the Heavyweight weight class is 206-265 with Super Heavyweight being 265 and up.)  This will also only be his 4th fight in MMA and he is only 1-1 in the UFC.  He definitely does not "deserve" this title shot but is getting it due to his drawing power as a former WWE Superstar and to a lesser extent his freakish athleticism.

Here you can see a good reason why some people are going with Lesnar.  This is the first punch from his fight versus Herring (who by the way is a very dangerous and legitimate opponent, definitely not some chump thrown in there to make Lesnar look good.)  Not only did he effectively pretty much PUNCH HERRING ACROSS THE FUCKING RING but that shot also broke Heath's orbital bone.

HOWEVER if you examine it further you can also actually see why some people are going with Couture as well...  First the punch although effective and delivered right down the pipe isn't the prettiest one in the world and looks a little awkward.  Second as soon as it's evident Herring is hurt, Brock LOSES HIS FUCKING MIND and becomes like a rabid blood crazed dog and appears to attempt to spear or tackle Herring through the cage... not exactly traditional technique.  

This overeager tenaciousness was also seen in his fight against Frank Mir, as Brock put Mir on his back and subsequently became an enraged gorilla dropping all sorts of clubbing Donkey Kong punches on Mir without regard to positioning or technique.  Mir ended up shortly grabbing his leg a couple moments later and forcing Brock to tap with a leg lock.

All that being said in my extremely amateur prediction, I am going with Lesnar.... he's just too big, fast and explosive for Couture being 45 years old and not in the ring for a year and a half... and I think it will be over early.

Top 5 blonde pornstars...

First of all why the FUCK are the fucking 49ers playing the Cardinals on Monday Night Football??????  This shouldn't be on anywhere except San Francisco and Arizona....  Christ what a shitty game.  It's actually worse than the Bills v. Browns game next week.

...and now for the FWYSO Top 5 Cute Blonde Pornstars With Big Boobies List.... for the record we aren't enamored with the rankings, once you get to the top couple it's really a toss-up.... bonus points were awarded for natural jumblas of course...

5.  Sarah Vandella

4.  Shawna Lenee

3.  Hannah Hilton... (au naturale knockers)....

2.  Ashlynn Brooke

1.  Bree Olson... (au naturale as well)...

Ewoks vs. Thunderdome kids.....

Q:  Who's more annoying the Ewoks from Return of the Jedi or the kids from Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome?

A:  No doubt about it....  It's the kids from Thunderdome.  Totally horrible.  Which is interesting because the wolf kid from The Road Warrior was so awesome.  Also, I don't care what anyone says the Ewoks were cool as tits, so suck my balls.

First of all the dumbass Thunderdome kids just kind of show up out of nowhere in the story halfway through the movie and are portrayed as being just too annoyingly precocious.  Not to mention the fact that they even exist makes no sense.  I mean they are never definitive of the timeline but I'm supposed to believe some plane full of babies crashed and then grew up learning to survive in some desert oasis without any adult supervision?  Bullshit.   Honestly the kids are like mostly ages 5-15 and the apocalypse has passed for some time.... the timeline just doesn't work out.  

Plus the witch doctor kid sucks slippery asshole.  The kids also add to a slapstick-y vibe that becomes more evident and begins to permeate the movie.  I mean you go from Max's wife and baby getting run down by a motorcyle in 1.... to women getting raped and people being burned alive and crucified in 2..... to little kids hitting bad guys in the face with pots and pans accompanied with sound effects and comedic reactions.  Ruined the whole vibe of the series.

That being said the Aviator's kid IS hilarious and awesome.  It's amazing they could have such classic kid characters as him and the wolf boy in 2 and miss so incredibly bad with that vomit inducing cutesy pseudo "lost boys" tribe.

Random crap..... Entourage, Kid Cudi.....

I would have bet money on Kid Cudi's "Day and Night" being featured on Entourage this season...  

...of course that's a totally douchetastic move retroactively saying I could have predicted something.  I think from now on I will be adding comments on past posts pointing out parts that give off douche chills.  And I think I've said it before but the phrase "douche chills" gives me douche chills.   It's like rain on your wedding day.

In fact just don't use the word douche anymore...  I've got to find a good replacement... how about lameghey?  brhey (bro+ghey)?  The thing about "douche" is that it does present such an exact picture of a level of asshattedness when used properly.  Like someone who tries to be cool, is just a little too sure, and think's they are relevantly ahead of the curve but in reality is lame, ghey and a total dickwad asshole.  Kind of like this blog.

How about brasshole?  I don't think it's what I'm looking for but it would be a good term to replace "douche" on some levels.  Like when you're being a bro type asshole.  Hmmm... let's try to use it in a sentence....  "Dude, put your hat either all the way forward or backward and stop being so loud.... you're being a real BRASSHOLE."

I kind of like it.  It's descriptive.  And of course combining words like I am wont to do is _______ (retroactively put new word for "douche" here) -y, as opposed to using the word "wont" which is just straight up queer.  But combowording is so totally _______ (once again) -tastic and lame that I feel it actually goes past it and comes back again to amusing.  At least for me personally it does, and really that's all I care about so go fuck yourself with a dirty, splintered plunger you _______.

Again here's the download of Kid Cudi's totally ballsdeepawesome mixtape that "Day and Night" is featured on....  

Jim Jones did a remix that was just him with a verse over the song.... same with Pitbull.... they aren't hard to find to download but they aren't that great either... Kid Cudi is also going to be on Kanye's new CD coming out at least once, maybe more.

...and for the record Lupe Fiasco's first album was everything I was hoping Kanye West's first album would be and Kid Cudi's mixtape is everything I was hoping Lupe Fiasco's second album would be.

(I decided to break up the text with gifs of Urijah Faber getting his clock cleaned from WEC  36 against Mike Brown because why the fuck not.)

FWYSO's pick for Prez.........