Fucking With Your Socks On.: JCVD.... Van Damme is BACK!... bitches.

Monday, October 13, 2008

JCVD.... Van Damme is BACK!... bitches.

Here is the trailer for Jean Claude Van Damme's glorious new movie JCVD....

It's been too long....

Also on a personal note, Jason Statham has replaced Van Damme as my current go to action movie guy.... BUT I just saw Death Race and was extremely let down.... so much promise with the premise but it just was totally unfulfilling.... the original did it so much better....

That's not to say that Death Race 2000 was a great movie, Roger Ebert did give it zero stars, but that as a crappy action movie it delivered in boobs and bloodshed... for instance in the new version there is no young Sylvester Stallone, bare boobs, or points for running over pedestrians... If I had to explain it, I'd say the original was a cross between Running Man and Rollerball... even though, yes, I am aware that they were both released afterwards... and for the love of shit of course I mean the first Rollerball and not the remake starring LL Cool J and the guy from American Pie that wasn't Stifler, the piefucker or Rookie of The Year.

ALSO also-- Bloodsport and Running Man are two of the greatest action movies of all time... they just don't make them like that any more.

...and as a bonus here's a short film/teaser that was put out for JCVD as well....

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This "blog" sucks. It is unoriginal, poorly written, recycled sludge from the dregs of the internet. It thinks it is cooler, funnier, smarter, and more well informed than it actually is.

Even the original "content" is aped and it's "voice" is the amalgamation of various other sites and writers that do it much better.

It also uses quotation marks too much, and attempts to use big words where they are not needed or are barely applicable, pounding the square peg of the word into the round hole in the sentence.

Poor metaphors and worse grammar are the standard, and any deviation from this should be viewed as a gift from God (a.k.a. the writer.)

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RAISON D'ETRE

Meant as an addendum to my South Park opening card ripoff to the right.... (I knew it was inspired by something but couldn't put my finger on it right away.)

So far this blog has mainly been about boobies, general pop culture, hip-hop, MMA and Cleveland Sports. I'd like to think you can gleam much, much more from the experience though you failed abortion. It has much higher ambitions but I don't know what they are.

It features extreme misogyny due to being overcompensating as well as being protected by the anonymity of the internet in that it allows a decidedly unfiltered view into the mind and thoughts of the male id. It's not the sole purpose of the blog but a side effect.

Plus it started off as mass emails to mostly my college friends and to a certain extent parts of it existed to shock or gross out the recipients... and the depth to which one must descend to do this is quite low, as you can imagine with people you have known for a while, as well as being young men with internet access...

Then I read American Psycho... and I am far from a prude but I thought parts of it were a bit more than I was comfortable with; and as far as influence and ideas it just expanded the limits of my depravity.... the only other thing I can compare it to being shocked literary wise, is how squirmy I felt during some of the gay sex scenes in William S. Burroughs' work.

I also don't proofread shit, straight dope. Fishscale, bitches. Unfortunately I think it causes massive tense shifting and jam packed overstuffed run on sentences mashed together that end up meaning nothing. But hopefully the idea and it's degree to what it is trying to be expressed and felt is what comes across. I think it's a detriment but I just don't have the time and am too lazy.

Twitter is there because I felt the blog was losing it's voice and just becoming a collecting point for various internet videos. I think Twitter is retarded but I do get some relevant updates on it on my cell phone.... so because I wanted to add more of an "original" voice I put the twitter feed on top, also I wanted to see if there was a way I could actually do it, in actually being able to place it there layout behind the scenes wise.

Same thing with the "Store." Thought it was funny and did it mainly as an intellectual exercise. I will tell you if and when I ever sell anything besides to myself or for gifts for my friends.

From the Cleveland area so I am constantly concerned with Cleveland sports. If I'm not writing about them, it's probably because I am too upset or trying to forget about it.

If I had time I'd label posts, but I don't.

Other than that this blog exists to give me a voice, or more likely outlet to vent things or thoughts that I needed to discuss or get off my chest. (Editor's note-- no shit Sherlock, you take your retard pills today?)

PS- the "Editor" doesn't exist you fucking cockeating dumbass reader.... I just couldn't believe I wrote something so inanely stupid, obvious and vapid... but still felt it needed to be said and couldn't think of/am too lazy to try to do it another way. Fuck your grandma.

Also going back into my past posts some videos or pictures are gone or unavailable.... I might fix them, I might not.... usually it's easy to figure out what they are from context anyways dickweed. Eat shit and die.

I AM VAGUELY AWARE THAT THIS ALL MIGHT COME OFF AS SOMETHING EERILY SIMILAR TO THE NOTEBOOKS THEY FIND IN THE APARTMENT IN SEVEN.